We Have Got To Show Each Other Some _____

Love. "We have got to show each other some love," is what everyday hero Wesley Autrey, who jumped on NYC subway train tracks in 2007 to save a man having a seizure, advises us.  It makes you think about what more you could be doing for strangers.  Here are two stories of everyday heros and the extraordinary sacrifices they made for their fellow man. Tonight's post is dedicated to such love.

Man Is Rescued By Stranger On Subway Tracks

College Baseball Star Receives Kidney from His Own Coach

Song of the Day: "Bowl of Oranges" by Bright Eyes

I came upon a doctor who appeared in quite poor health.
I said "There is nothing I can do for you
that you can't do for yourself."
He said "Oh yes you can. Just hold my hand. I think that would help."
So I sat with him a while and then I asked him how he felt.
He said, "I think I'm cured. No, in fact, I'm sure.
Thank you Stranger, for your therapeutic smile."


Poem of the Day: 
"Casabianca" by Elizabeth Bishop

Love's the boy stood on the burning deck trying to recite `The boy stood on the burning deck.' Love's the son stood stammering elocution while the poor ship in flames went down. Love's the obstinate boy, the ship, even the swimming sailors, who would like a schoolroom platform, too, or an excuse to stay on deck. And love's the burning boy.

And love's the tumbling boy, tumbling on to the tracks...

He's Got The Whole World - A Wednesday Mashup

Love is Love is Love

Young Love

Video clip: Scene from The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (Twist & Shout)

Love Forever Young

Country Love Songs (two for the young lovers, two to grow old to):

"Mine" by Taylor Swift

"Our Song" also by Tay Tay

"Forever & Ever, Amen" by Randy Travis - Sooooo cute. Definitely going to be one of my wedding songs.

"Livin' on Love" by Alan Jackson - another country classic that's super-sweet and makes you love old people that much more

Love Love

Roommate Love - When You Need To Be Stopped from Eating Cookies in Bed

"You'll never go further than you can with a friend"

Orangatan & Hound Dog Love

God's Love

Song: "He's Got the Whole World In His Hands"

Alternative footage, live from space (if you're not a nerd, skip this): Scene from Rocket Man [I've Got the Whole World In My Hands"

Bottom Line: Love is Love is Love <3

The Other F Word

Family

Today's post is dedicated to family love.  Family is a subject I could go on about for hours on end.  Perhaps someday I will write a book on it.  Tonight I will only touch the tip of the iceberg.

This is what I have to say about my immediate/biological family: I love them. We are. I love them and we are.  I was born into people of incredible strength.

Generation after generation, incredible strength.

I call love different things on different days.  Some days, with family, you have to bend that rule backwards and look for different things to call love.

My college years were so rich in personal and intellectual development.  For one of my theatre classes sophomore year, I had this assignment where I had to come up with 5 questions on a subject that made me uncomfortable and get responses from at least 3 people.  The subject I chose was, of course, family.  I was supposed to confront people with them and ask them in person but the introvert in me won that battle.  I'm glad it did because the email responses I got were so rich and powerful.  They were intimate, touching, sometimes painful, and always beautiful.  I wish I could publish them here but they are not mine and are not for the world to see without permission.  I will share the questions I came up with.  They alone speak volumes to me about my own journey of personal growth and maturation.

1. List three things that come to mind when you think of your immediate biological family.  They could be very relevant or very abstract-- an object, story, word, phrase, emotion, image, memory, you name it.  Anything.  For you psych. people, I think this is akin to Freud's "free association" thing.

2.  How has your biological family been significant/or not significant to you to this point in your life?

3.  Are there/have there been things beyond the "societal norm" you've felt about your family that you've felt guilty for feeling?

4.  As your level of reasoning has matured since the basic childhood limit of singular definition, how has your concept/definition of family changed, evolved, expanded, etc. if at all.  Are there any specific stories/instances/ vignettes that go along with this?

5.  Do you feel that there is something that separates biological family from social family or could the words "family" and "friend" be eliminated as separate entities and instead just all labeled under the category of "people we love" or some other title?

Finally, for the poetry of the day, I pulled out another artifact from my sophomore year - The Norton Anthology of African American Literature.  The two poems I have selected reflect on family with such raw grace.  They made me cry when I had to read them over and over again for class.  The second one was written from prison.  If you want to read something that will punch you in the gut and make your heart swell at the same time, black American authors are a good place to turn.  

Poems of the day: 

Nikki-Rosa by Nikki Giovanni

The Idea of Ancestry by Etheridge Knight

Love, Becca

p.s. for more inspiration in family photography check out awkwardfamilyphotos.com

Guy Talk

In honor of Super Bowl XLV today, when guys around the nation will be gathering together around television screens, slapping each other on the butt as they watch other men on tv slap each other on the butt, today's post is dedicated to bromance.

Clip: I Love You, Man

Clip: Scrubs Guy Love Song

But just a final word to the wise, boys, Derrick Comedy reminds us of what can happen when bro love gets carried away.... :p 

Clip: Bro Rape

Love you, boys <3

Girl Talk

Simply put, I love being a girl.  


Poem of the day: "A Girl" by Ezra Pound


Song of the day: "(Cyanide) Girl" by Beck


Clip of the day: Vada and Thomas J's kiss from My Girl


Here's to all my sisters out there <3

Dressing You Up, Dressing Up In You

Dressing You Up: Lars & The Real Girl.  


My take on what's going on is that this depicts the kind of situation where someone has so much love to give, but has a hard time seeing themselves as someone who has a lot of love to give.  He's trying to overcome an incredibly damaged childhood, but the characteristic of "damaged" is still really ingrained into his self-image and his fears about the way others see him.    I can relate to this on a level.  It's like..you're you..you're yourself..your life is your life..the trauma is as normal and familiar as your left thumb...it doesn't seem like a disfiguration because it's all you've known...yet there comes a point, and this is especially sad for children, when you realize the visibility of the damage...when you're enjoying a mother-daughter event like costume fittings for a dance recital just fine without your mother and then the fat girl in front of you with pee stains on her ballet tights turns and says "Where's your mother?" and you realize that everyone else is thinking the same thing, only they are too polite to say it.  It's no longer just an issue of "can I do this," it's also about "do I look the part."  The difference here is that while I turned out pretty normal and functional (in the context of this situation anyhow :p), Lars's character is still pretty screwed up and socially inept.  He can't handle the risk involved in real human interaction, so he real loves a pretend girl (doll), or pretend loves a real girl, depending on how you want to look at it.  The prop substitute allows Lars to engage in role-playing confidence and normalcy, to "look the part" before actually "being the part."  To show the community what he would look like as a normal social being, before actually following through with it.  


This movie also depicts the kind of love that exists in communities.  The love that is inspired when a group decides to rally around an individual in need because he is one of them and they look out for their own :)


Finally, while most of the drama in this movie is very public, I absolutely love the intimacy of this scene where Lars is singing to Bianca.  It's like someone uncovered a thriving patch of violets under a heap of volcanic ash...violets whose roots fed their deep eternal song as though they'd never been choked of a single day of sunlight.  It's beautiful.


And last but not least, simply because I absolutely love this love song, 
Belle and Sebastian's Dress Up in You. 
"I'd hate to see you on the pile of ‘nearly-made-it's.  You've got the essence, dear, If I could have a second skin I'd probably dress up in you." <3

Out of the Mouths of Babes

This post is dedicated to children, and the special kind of love they bring.  Never let it be said that there aren't times in your life when a 5 yr old suffices for your best friend.  At age 20, I decided that living at home was no longer an option I was willing to consider for my adult life.  I made sure I had a summer internship in Philly that required me to live in the city during my summer break from college.  Before I found an apartment in center city, I moved in with family of family friends - people who's relatives we were good friends with, but who were otherwise strangers.  I'd never met them before showing up on their doorstep with all my clothes and dorm crap jammed into the back seat.  They were wonderful to me and treated me like their lost fifth child (they already had four kids, ages 5-14) during the two weeks I lived with them.  But I was still scared and lonely.  Oh was I ever scared and lonely.  And little Orestes, the 5 yr old and baby of the family, became my best friend.  Every day when I came home from my internship he'd be waiting for me at the door.  He'd run and give me a big hug and ask me all about my day or he'd ask if I wanted to play legos or read books.  His view of our relationship was just so genuine and innocent.  Of course Becca wanted to play legos.  Of course Becca wanted to read books. And for those two weeks, I genuinely did.  

Here are photos of me holding my niece Lily when she was a baby and posing with her older sister, my niece Abbie.  I can't wait to be a mom.  Actually, I can wait, but not for too long.  When I graduated high school, I was so focused on finding a suitable mate in college to settle down with and starting popping them out.  I told everyone I didn't want a career if it was going to compromise my ability to build a strong marriage and family.  My views have changed considerably since then.  I realize now I am in no way responsible enough to start having kids and that there are lots of things I would like to do before having them.  Still, it ranks really high on my list of life priorities.  I don't think women should be expected to want and/or have children.  But I don't think they should be thought less of for embracing motherhood as the defining endeavor of their life, either.  My mother wasn't fortunate enough to be present in my life past age 6.  I hope that I am luckier and I hope that motherhood isn't a disappointment. I hope it's everything I imagine it to be and more.  I hope that I'll be a really good mom.  I want that kind of love in my life so badly.

Clip: This little guy explains how cookies are the way to a kid's heart

Clip: Jessica reminds me of the power of loving yourself - this girl knows what it's about - when you're happy with yourself, it infects the rest of your life

Finally, some great quotes from kids on love and relationships.  My favorites: "Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad but you don't yell at them because you know it would hurt their feelings." Oh can I relate to that one. And, advice on how to make someone fall in love with you "Tell them you own a bunch of candy stores." (Del, age 6)  Damn. I always fall for that one.

When all is said and done, children are a blessing. That's all there is to it.